mandaryn’s blog

approaching the half-way mark!

nobody@vox.com(mandaryn) — Thu, 15 May 2008 08:07:39 -0400

so i havnt written in a long while... the end of my sophomore year is approaching! almost 50% done with high school!!!!!!!! and josh graduates next saturday! wow. life's happening pretty fast. since i last wrote, i caught my hair on fire, lost my job, broke my tailbone, and got disowned by my mother [my birth mom, not my mom mom]. this has been an interesting '08 so far! it's funny, cuz everything sounds negative, but it's actaully going pretty good. well, let's just say, life is unpredicatble. i'm probably not gonna write as much as i used to. i'm gonna be pretty busy this summer. i'm looking everywhere for a new job, hopefully one that pays more than my old shitty job of taking orders and making pizzas. welll, adios, y'all.

amanda:]]

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I'm in a fight with the world but I'm winning.

nobody@vox.com(mandaryn) — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 10:35:04 -0400

so my best friend mo thinks that i was totally going for the "owen" thing with josh. owen from "just listen", that is. he's giantly tall, is never seen without his iPod, can be slightly mysterious, and has an extremely annoying sister. and he's totally against being a jerk. which is awesome. but i never really thought about the owen thing til mo brought it up. it does kinda seem like it. she said there's one part totally missing: he doesn't have anger issues. [thank God!] lol. we have a lot in common, and he's really sweet. he has a nerdy side, but i like that in guys. last night he came in to get pizza cuz he knew i had to work. i put in my discount for him. i was on the phone when he called though, so i didnt get to talk to him. but, lol, when he walked in i smiled at him and stuck out my tongue. he just laughed. i got sick after he left though, cuz i haven't been feeling too well. and i went home early. i talked to him on the phone for a couple hours. he helped me feel better. he's always there when i need him and he helps me to calm down when i'm stressed. i say anything negative about myself and he tells me no. i'm tired, he's okay with my laying my head on him and fall asleep. i seriously think he's my mr. perfect. he's a.m.a.z.i.n.g! when i say sorry for something [normally something stupid and unimportant] he always says "it ok" and if he's there with me, he smiles and sometimes grabs my hand or whatever. he makes me SO happy. yesterday i was kinda bummed cuz i wasn't feeling good, but i was so happy cuz i had been talking to him via text message and he was talking sweet like he sometimes does, and mo called me and beasley was im-ing me, and they were both really bummed about something or other that wasn't going well, and a few of my other friends were also freaked out cuz they think they're pregnant. i was feeling bad b/c everything was going well for me, and bad for them. when things go bad for a person i care about, i almost can't stand it. it just hurts so much for me to see suffering and pain. then i told him about how it was bugging me and he called me once i got off the phone with mo. and i was just kinda depressed and started crying and i was like "you understand how i feel?" and he was like "yes. i feel that way right now, cuz it hurts me to see you hurt like this." and i was like awww, that's so cute! and i cheered up almost immediatly. i was like "you're so sweet. i'm glad you're here for me." he's just so awesome. i was hanging out with him this morning too. i was really tired and still not feeling good, so after a while i fell asleep with my head on his leg. [he was in his desk in study hall, i was sitting on the floor next to him]. i still can't figure out why, but that boy is just so special to me. he helps me so much and he just cares so much. :] i've been thinking since it's not that far off, about what to get him for a graduation present. right after grad, he's going to cali for his internship. so i won't see him this summer. i don't know what to get for him. i'm thinking about drawing or painting something for him. or getting him a new iPod since his old one broke. haha. but not til i get a new one for myself cuz i don't even have one yet. lol. well, it's almost time for the lunch bell to ring, and that's good cuz i'm hungry. adios, y'all.

MANDA.

p.s. it would be great if i got some comments cuz it feels like i'm writing to empty space sometimes... THANKS!

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i sit and count the colors in his eyes.

nobody@vox.com(mandaryn) — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 07:49:23 -0400

tired as hell.

i couldn't sleep last night.

i got about 5 hours, if that.

i'm prolly gonna go to sleep here in a min.

study hall, nuthin to do. ugh.

before class, i hung out with josh like normal.

i fell asleep with my head on his leg.

he woke me up by poking me and playing with my hair.

cuz the bell was about to ring and i needed to go to class.

i had a great weekend, for once.

worked friday, had the PRA test on sat.

after PRA, went to josh's.

watched tv, ate choc chip pancakes, got in a pillow fight.

normal josh stuff. lol.

i love spending time with him cuz

it's just normally kinda a laid-back and lazy time.

i dont have to worry about anything,

except for of course, losing track of time and missing curfew.

but that didn't happen!

cuz it was just sat afternoon,

and we had to be at church by 3:30 to set up chairs.

we finished set up by 5, so i went home.

we talked on the phone for most of the night,

except for a little while cuz i fell asleep.

then he fell alseep,

so we got off the phone and slept for a while

then i called him back around 8 cuz he wanted to be up by then.

then we talked til my mom made me get off the phone.

and i went back to sleep.

sunday morning was church

which was fun.

more josh-time. lol.

after church was of course, more phone time, like always. lol.

then i had to go to work at 5.

i'm supposed to go to work tonite,

but im thinking about seeing if korey, luke, or mallory wanna swap shifts,

cuz i'm sick as hell right now.

not contagious prolly, tho,

just "throw up and sleep" sick.

and cramps.

ugh.

well. i'm gonna go sleep.

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