falling up.

nobody@vox.com(mandaryn) — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 08:17:05 -0400

right now i'm at an extreme point of happiness. everything is almost almost perfect. it doesn't have to be entirely perfect, just almost. and it's almost there. ya follow? lol. my grades are better than ever. 2 B's, 2 A's, 1 C, 1 D. i just need to get those last two up a bit and keep them that way and i'm home free. then i'll have the rest of my life back. currently, i've just got work, school, and sometimes i get to spend time with josh. the parts i'm missing are church, friends, and the rest of my time with josh. speaking of josh, our relationship is great. i really do love that boy. today's a half day at school, so we're gonna spend the afternoon hanging out at my house. shall be fun! :] this just feels almost foreign, this happiness. i love it, but it's just not something i'm used to. i'm used to being pushed around, crowded out, and lost in a sea of depression. i'm sure my psych would say my prozac is kicking in, but no, that's not it. it wouldn't just start working randomly after two years of ineffective use. this is just life going well. :]

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my own pursuit of happyness.

nobody@vox.com(mandaryn) — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 07:49:20 -0400

i'm almost in a daze of happiness. everything's going pretty well. me and josh are doing better. everything was kinda rocky for a couple days, but we're ok now. and i had some issues with friends that are getting better too. and the best part, i stood up for myself! i cussed out that bitch. she thinks she can tread on me and attept to make my life a living hell, but she can't. i have many ways to succeed in making her life hell, but i don't. but if she doesn't stop, i will. beasley was proud of me for standing up to her. she tried to say that beasley was saying stuff about me, but i knew better than that. beasley is my best buddy through and through. he would never do anything to hurt me. and that's where i drew the line and got in her face. i told bease about it and he was like "yeah!". lol. everything in life was kinda suckish for a while, but it got better when i realized that i've got some pretty amazing people in my life. i've got an amazing boyfriend who would do anything for me [josh], a best buddy who stands up for me and who's always there for me in my time of need [beasley], a best friend who i can talk to, although she covers her ears and does the whole "lalalalala. i can't hear you." thing when i get into the details she doesn't want to hear [mo], and some other amazing friends too. i used to always think i was alone, but i'm not. josh tends to think that he's a loner and he's always been on his own, but when he does that i correct him, i say "no your not, honey, i'm here for you, and i always will be." right now i feel pretty freakin' fantabulous. and i think i like it.

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mandaryn’s blog

falling up.

my own pursuit of happyness.