3 posts from April 2008

right now i'm at an extreme point of happiness. everything is almost almost perfect. it doesn't have to be entirely perfect, just almost. and it's almost there. ya follow? lol. my grades are better than ever. 2 B's, 2 A's, 1 C, 1 D. i just need to get those last two up a bit and keep them that way and i'm home free. then i'll have the rest of my life back. currently, i've just got work, school, and sometimes i get to spend time with josh. the parts i'm missing are church, friends, and the rest of my time with josh. speaking of josh, our relationship is great. i really do love that boy. today's a half day at school, so we're gonna spend the afternoon hanging out at my house. shall be fun! :] this just feels almost foreign, this happiness. i love it, but it's just not something i'm used to. i'm used to being pushed around, crowded out, and lost in a sea of depression. i'm sure my psych would say my prozac is kicking in, but no, that's not it. it wouldn't just start working randomly after two years of ineffective use. this is just life going well. :]

life's going so fast, changing so fast, i can't even stop to think. i thought i knew how it would all turn out, then everything changed, now i barely even know where i am right now. not that it's a bad place to be, it's just... different. i'm used to being in control of my life. now... i'm not. everything's flying by, and it's just so scary. finally having everything semi-predictable, then the tables turn in a flash. it's slightly confusing. not that i'm not happy, though. actually, i love it here. i love being happy with what i have. it's just taking some getting used to, that's all.

so spring break's over, and i'm kinda glad, but yet i still wish it never ended. but i really want to get the rest of this school year over with. School's not horrible, but i like summer better. So, a summary of spring break: friday josh got his wisdom teeth pulled, so the rest of the weekend i went over to his house about 6pm til 9ish to spend time with him, although no kissing was allowed. lol. Tuesday, he was doing a lot better, so we went to see a movie. Thursday, i went to the mall with mo and amanda, which was a fun girls' day. friday josh came over to watch movies. saturday i had to babysit, then i went to josh's. sunday [yesterday] he had an interview at kroger [he got the job!]. it was a pretty boring week, but pretty fun too. restful, definatly. We've been getting on each other's nerves a bit, but we're okay. Some of my friends say we argue like an old couple, which we sometimes do. lol. like today, before the bell we were sitting in his history class and a girl walked in and asked if we were together and i said yes. he had his headphones in and said "what? i can't hear you." so i said "well, maybe you can hear if you took out your headphones." and she laughed cuz we sounded like a married couple. we also argued about how he walks too fast and never waits for me. he sometimes annoys me, but no matter what, i love him, and i always will.