13 posts from March 2008

i can't wait! spring break is a good time of year. i never actually go anywhere though. i'm staying home this year too. i might spend time with josh though. he's getting his wisdom teeth pulled tomorrow. we're gonna hang out a lot next week though. we're gonna go to the dollar theatre on tuesday to see national treasure: book of secrets. i didnt really want to, i wanted to see cloverfield, but josh got movie picks this time, so i get picks next time! lol. i'll pick a chick flick! jk, nah, i wouldn't torture him that much. lol. i'm so tired right now. i'm prolly gonna go home, IM josh for a couple hours, then go to sleep. he said he might come over tomorrow afternoon. he doesn't have to be at the dr.'s til 3:10, so that allows a good bit of time for us to hang out before. gah, i'm SO tired. i'm gonna go play gameboy for a while. adios, y'all. i won't be back on til after spring break. you think i'll spend my OWN time blogging? heh heh heh.

i'm almost in a daze of happiness. everything's going pretty well. me and josh are doing better. everything was kinda rocky for a couple days, but we're ok now. and i had some issues with friends that are getting better too. and the best part, i stood up for myself! i cussed out that bitch. she thinks she can tread on me and attept to make my life a living hell, but she can't. i have many ways to succeed in making her life hell, but i don't. but if she doesn't stop, i will. beasley was proud of me for standing up to her. she tried to say that beasley was saying stuff about me, but i knew better than that. beasley is my best buddy through and through. he would never do anything to hurt me. and that's where i drew the line and got in her face. i told bease about it and he was like "yeah!". lol. everything in life was kinda suckish for a while, but it got better when i realized that i've got some pretty amazing people in my life. i've got an amazing boyfriend who would do anything for me [josh], a best buddy who stands up for me and who's always there for me in my time of need [beasley], a best friend who i can talk to, although she covers her ears and does the whole "lalalalala. i can't hear you." thing when i get into the details she doesn't want to hear [mo], and some other amazing friends too. i used to always think i was alone, but i'm not. josh tends to think that he's a loner and he's always been on his own, but when he does that i correct him, i say "no your not, honey, i'm here for you, and i always will be." right now i feel pretty freakin' fantabulous. and i think i like it.

so i had the most amazing weekend! friday, i felt like shit, but went to church with josh anyways. him and his mom were getting along better, which was good. after church we went out to dinner at applebee's. i wasn't feeling well at all at that point, and i was freezing, so josh held me for a while to try to help me feel better. when we left, josh sat in the backseat with me, still holding me. and then he kissed me. but like a minute later, i threw up, out the window. well, mostly out the window, partly on josh, which i felt bad about. but he helped me wipe up the puke, gave me a peice of gum, and kept kissing me. lol.

saturday morning, i woke up early with a really bad headache. once mom left for work, i got on the comp and im'ed josh. i told him that i was sorry about throwing up, and that he's a really good kisser, so my throwing up has nothing to do with the quality of his kissing. lol. and i told him that he was my first kiss. he told me not to be sorry, and that everything's ok as long as i'm feeling better, and that i was his first kiss too. and then he told me that he loves me. it was all pretty much a very mushy "aww" moment. later that afternoon, i went over to his house. we made out in his bed for about an hour and a half, which was really amazing. i told him about my abstinence values, and he said he respects that.

sunday was easter, and i went to church with josh. we held hands during the service, and he almost fell asleep. (which is really saying something since he's a severe insomniac! lol.) he wanted me to go to his grandma's with him after church, but my mom wouldn't let me, so i went home, and fell asleep for about 2 hours. when i woke up, i talked to him on the phone for a while, and then got off the phone to watch tv with my parents. a couple hours later, the phone rang again, and it was him. he said "i'm at your front door. i have a present for you." so i told him, hold on, i'll be there in a minute. i told my mom and she pointed out that i was still wearing my pj's, so i went to go change really quickly. when i answered the door, he was standing there with a single red rose. i went to hug him, but my dog, sandy, got to him first. lol. sandy normally hates guys, especially tall guys, and josh is 6'3", so you'd think she'd hate him too, but sandy absolutely loves josh. so we had to try to get sandy to calm down and lock her in her "room" (the laundry room). he handed me the rose, and i hugged him. he wanted to see if my mom would let him stay for a little while, but she was in a bad mood, so he had to leave. so i stepped outside with him and shut the door. i told him thank you. and we kissed for a few minutes. it was really sweet. i really do love him.

i'm so tired, i'm coming down with some sort of cold, and i have a headache from hell. josh wasn't doing too well this morning either. he got in a fight with his mom, so she won't take him to church tonight, so i'll prolly give him a ride to church. monica's having parent issues too. everything's pretty depressing around me right now. damn my head hurts... i'm about to go up to the science office and take a nap. i feel like shit. tonite's good friday, which will be depressing church. my family pretty much canceled easter dinner cuz grandma got her teeth pulled. lol. redneck family.  well, i'm gonna get outta here and go to sleep. adios, y'all.

it's thursday... just a little closer to friday! and today's the astronomy field trip, so that rocks! this morning wasn't as fun as normal cuz monica made me walk with her to show her where the planetarium is, and help her avoid alex. lol. alex asked her out last night and she's the type of person that just can't say no. so of course, she wanted to avoid him this morning because she said yes last night and had no idea what to say to him. but i left after i showed her to the planetarium cuz i had to go see josh. i can't go a morning with seeing josh.

holy shit that just scared the crap out of me. a dog walked up to me and started licking my leg. A DOG! in school! i was like "woah! why is there a dog? is it suposed to be here?" and mr. p was like yeah. so i pet the dog til it walked away. it was cute. lol. i didnt think teacher's could bring their dog to school... lol. well... i'm probly gonna take a nap. and hope the dog doesn't lick me again...

almost almost almost ungrounded.

gotta bring up astro and genetics a couple points,

geometry up a bit more,

and i'm FREE.

i should be free by spring break...

but it sux cuz josh is getting his wisdom teeth pulled on the first day of break...

but he should be better a few days after that,

so i can prolly hang out with him some time at the end of break.

i might go to mi madre's the first couple days of break,

or go hang out with kayt if mom will let me.

but anyways...

today's started out ok,

except for the rain.

the sky is leaking!

lol.

study hall is always so boring,

i'm in the library,

grabbed a spare comp in the middle of michael's english class,

mainly a bunch of rowdy losers...

gah, i can't wait til i'm ungrounded so i can have a life,

ok prolly not much of a life,

just hanging out with josh a lot, prolly.

gah i hate stupid nosey teachers

gotta go...

i am SO ready to get rid of this mecahnical baby. it's driving me crazy! well, not right now, cuz it's asleep, but it's overall just a severe pain in the ass.

so yeah... it's finally friday! but it sux, cuz i have the mechanical baby project for parenting class. ugh. :[ and i have to go to a hockey game tomorrow night. dad got tickets, and i have to go. and bring josh too, along with the baby. but oh well, he can help me take care of it. lol. btw, my baby is black. melanie laughed when she saw it. she was like "well, now we know josh ain't the daddy." lol. it cried again. grrr. i hate this thing.

it's wednesday finally! just waiting til friday, like always, hoping to get ungrounded soon. ha, like that'll ever happen. especially since i was so stupid last night... i snuck a boy into the house! josh, of course. and i got caught. caught in a lie, that is. i never lie! and i never do stupid stuff like that, but i did. and i don't know why. it was kind of an impulse thing. i never act on impulse! but we hot to hang out for a while, which was fun. we were goofing around and he said sumthin stupid, so i bit him on the hand, and he moved his hand away quickly, and my lip got caught on his ring. slightly embarrassing and now painful. i have a slightly fat lip. just in the corner, tho, so it's not too visible. THAT would be embarrassing! lol. so right now, i'm out of study hall waiting on mrs. fouse for peers practice, the abstinence program where we teach middle school kids about abstaining from sex. lol. i told josh that i was in peers and he just laughed. why, i don't know, but he laughed at me! grrr. lol. well, mrs. fouse should be here soon... adios!

so my best friend mo thinks that i was totally going for the "owen" thing with josh. owen from "just listen", that is. he's giantly tall, is never seen without his iPod, can be slightly mysterious, and has an extremely annoying sister. and he's totally against being a jerk. which is awesome. but i never really thought about the owen thing til mo brought it up. it does kinda seem like it. she said there's one part totally missing: he doesn't have anger issues. [thank God!] lol. we have a lot in common, and he's really sweet. he has a nerdy side, but i like that in guys. last night he came in to get pizza cuz he knew i had to work. i put in my discount for him. i was on the phone when he called though, so i didnt get to talk to him. but, lol, when he walked in i smiled at him and stuck out my tongue. he just laughed. i got sick after he left though, cuz i haven't been feeling too well. and i went home early. i talked to him on the phone for a couple hours. he helped me feel better. he's always there when i need him and he helps me to calm down when i'm stressed. i say anything negative about myself and he tells me no. i'm tired, he's okay with my laying my head on him and fall asleep. i seriously think he's my mr. perfect. he's a.m.a.z.i.n.g! when i say sorry for something [normally something stupid and unimportant] he always says "it ok" and if he's there with me, he smiles and sometimes grabs my hand or whatever. he makes me SO happy. yesterday i was kinda bummed cuz i wasn't feeling good, but i was so happy cuz i had been talking to him via text message and he was talking sweet like he sometimes does, and mo called me and beasley was im-ing me, and they were both really bummed about something or other that wasn't going well, and a few of my other friends were also freaked out cuz they think they're pregnant. i was feeling bad b/c everything was going well for me, and bad for them. when things go bad for a person i care about, i almost can't stand it. it just hurts so much for me to see suffering and pain. then i told him about how it was bugging me and he called me once i got off the phone with mo. and i was just kinda depressed and started crying and i was like "you understand how i feel?" and he was like "yes. i feel that way right now, cuz it hurts me to see you hurt like this." and i was like awww, that's so cute! and i cheered up almost immediatly. i was like "you're so sweet. i'm glad you're here for me." he's just so awesome. i was hanging out with him this morning too. i was really tired and still not feeling good, so after a while i fell asleep with my head on his leg. [he was in his desk in study hall, i was sitting on the floor next to him]. i still can't figure out why, but that boy is just so special to me. he helps me so much and he just cares so much. :] i've been thinking since it's not that far off, about what to get him for a graduation present. right after grad, he's going to cali for his internship. so i won't see him this summer. i don't know what to get for him. i'm thinking about drawing or painting something for him. or getting him a new iPod since his old one broke. haha. but not til i get a new one for myself cuz i don't even have one yet. lol. well, it's almost time for the lunch bell to ring, and that's good cuz i'm hungry. adios, y'all.

MANDA.

p.s. it would be great if i got some comments cuz it feels like i'm writing to empty space sometimes... THANKS!